Uh-Oh

Today I went to the hospital to pick up some things I need for my NICU (neonatal ICU) rotation, which begins on Monday. The course director sent me an email recommending I borrow a particular textbook on neonatology. "You might want to start with the obvious chapters on care in the DR (delivery room), care of premature infants, respiratory disorders and hyperbilirubinemia", he wrote. I imagined it was a dumbed-down student text, and those "obvious chapters" were oh, 20 pages each? So imagine my horror when I walked into the library and found this monster:

That, my friends, is a 1600-page TOME. It weighs like, A LOT. Its pages are those really thin fax-paper type, and it's still this massive heavy thing. Those "obvious chapters?" Hundreds of pages of teeeeny tiiiiny font!

Gulp!

[And yep, it's lying under a pair of extra-small scrubs, which I'm praying to heaven still fit (my scrub card is set to give me extra small scrubs, and I've gained some weight of late). The scrubs are next to my grocery store receipt. After the hospital, I went to the grocery store and bought about 25lb of food. Neonatology brick book + 25lb groceries = uncomfortable walk home. ]

I am super nervous about this rotation.

You see, I've put my brain on the back burner for way too long. Yesterday, I flew back to (frigid!) Pittsburgh after spending some mindless leisure time at my parents' home in California - my sister and I beat the Super Mario Bros for Wii, with all the warp tunnels and secret exits and all. This was the largest accomplishment I made in 4 months. No, really. My last clinical rotation was Pediatric Dermatology, wayyy back in September. But even that wasn't really a "real" rotation. Acne and eczema do not sick patients make. October was a research month, November was my swine flu and Teach to Teach month, December was an interview month, and January was a big fat joke. Sure, I took my boards and talked about myself during interviews, but I haven't really seen a patient in over 4 months. So I haven't had to work very hard, or think very hard, for that matter, in ages.

But that all changes soon. On Monday I'll be jumping back into the waters of learning and doing. Imagine! Me, waking up at 5:30am and working 10 hours a day! Taking care of little tiny premature babies! Being a part of a team again! I know I have it in me, but I'm scared of how long it's going to take to dust off the cobwebs and get the creaks out.

By the looks of that book, there's going to be a steep learning curve. Yipes!

Wish me luck! I've got some reading to do!