The question is not: to be married, or not to be married. Rather, the question is:
To be married at a wedding, or not.
Weddings cost a lost of money, y'all. Did you know the average American wedding costs over $28,000? That's a starting salary as a research tech in most academic labs, pre-tax, my friends. And that's an average wedding. It costs oodles more to have the ridiculously nice wedding with letterpress invitations and Swarovski crystal centerpieces and 8 bridesmaids in full-length taffeta. A whoppin' 30-large for blandness! No offense to weddings, but most I've attended have been pretty tacky, run-of-the-mill, unmemorable events with bad food and the same-ol' song and dance. Plus guests are pretty much expected to buy some equally ridiculous gifts.
Ideally, I would love to have a really simple shindig involving the great outdoors (a public park with a big tree, perhaps), a bunch of cheap and awesome catered food, some cake, and some lawn games. Eric, me, and a bunch of our closest friends & family, being lazy and laughing together. But unfortunately, there's no way that we can put the time and effort needed to pull that off. Over the next year we'll both be busy med students with very little free time. Not to mention we'll be long-distance from each other & from the wedding location. It's just not possible.
And so we would have to have a pre-packaged, heavily vendor-based event that automatically puts us in the average-cost range. What we would have would be E and me, in a used dress and rented suit, gettin' hitched in a plain ol' ceremony at some "wedding venue" followed by a small reception at a "reception venue" with about 100 people and some decent but sadly unoriginal food. Handmade this, DIY that. Nothing fancy, but still ridiculously expensive. Which is ridiculous. What are we paying for, really? How did this come to be?
My parents are being super duper duper generous and giving us some money to do with as we please--we could spend it on one ridiculously expensive wedding, or we could spend it on loan repayments, feeding the future dog, going to a restaurant every now and then, gasoline, an eco-friendly washer & dryer, etc. All this sounds much more appealing to me. I think I hate weddings. I think I love the idea of being married, and the idea of being married with a little nest egg is even more splendid.
So is it crazy to just elope to Hawaii or something?
Would you all be totally pissed if we didn't have a proper celebratory event?
Comments, please!
6 comments:
Yeah, I've read a bit of "blogging the Bible", but I'm trying out reading the Torah on my own first before being influenced by him (much as he did). From the bit I've read, I agree that the reactions are similar, although he clearly read more carefully and thoughtfully. I plan to read the whole blogging the Bible once I finally get through the Torah. That is interesting that he was pointing out that others have similar reactions.
I say go for what you want on the wedding. Although since it is a once in a lifetime event I'd suggest thinking about what you would do if money wasn't an issue. Of course I figure the invite list can get quite short before I get cut so my opinion may not count that much.
The do what you want with the money is interesting. I wonder what most couples would do in that case. I think the typical arrangement is the parents will only pay for the wedding which seems like it would make the decision much easier.
maybe you can just have a "yay i'm married!" party instead of the full blown wedding.
OR...a pizza party at chuck e cheese's! BALL PIT!!!
OR...if you don't have a formal wedding, would you have sort some of gathering that is not so formal? I wouldn't be so sad if there was no traditional wedding, but i just might follow you guys to Hawaii if you have no gathering at all. even a curry night would do, heh
dear cousin,
i will be sorely disappointed if i am not present at an occasion in which you are celebrating something - whether it is a wedding or a 'i'm married now' or what-have-you
that being said, i understand that money could be used for a broader range of things if not used on the wedding.
that also being said, i am a great and meticulous planner (i've been told) and have helped plan a friend's wedding before. therefore, if you need my services, i am happy to oblige.
in conclusion, i want to celebrate at some point regardless.
your l-cuz
On bones a couple had their wedding ceremony on a hot air balloon and at the end of the ceremony they bungie jumped from the balloon. Not saying that's what you should do, but it's an idea.
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