Crest Whitestrips

(Round of applause to Little Lid, my incognito guest blogger from the previous post.)

If you know anything about me, it should be that I'm obsessed with dental hygiene. My nightly routine consists of (say it with me, Angie!): a thorough flossing, brushing with my Sonicare, another cursory brushing with a regular toothbrush (to get at anything I missed), then a good gargle with some stringent mouthwash. While the whiteness of one's teeth may not necessarily fit neatly into the category of "dental hygiene", since teeth-whitening is a service provided by dental hygienists & dentists, let's just roll with it. Mmkay?

The first time I whitened my teeth was the summer after my freshman year of college. It was quite a life-changing experience: my teeth went from the color of take-out chopsticks (no, seriously) to Orbitz-commerical white-- "FAB-ulous!" Since then, I've used the handy Crest Whitestrips every couple of years to maintain the pearly sheen. My teeth may not be very straight, and they may be prone to cavities, but by golly, yellow is one thing they're not. Amen.

So I'm currently halfway through my third Whitestrip experience. The Whitestrip experience calls for the dedication of two half-hour segments a day, during which the whitestrip-ee must have weird gelatinous films covering her teeth in such a way that the simple act of sitting around becomes slightly uncomfortable, talking is a nuisance, and eating/drinking is impossible. Also, since it is not recommended that the whitestrips be used immediately after brushing one's teeth, it is hard to leave it as a getting-ready-for-bed kind of thing. As you may imagine, Crest Whitestrips take structure, planning, and dedication: three things that are usually very characteristic of my lifestyle.

Alas, here's an indication of how overwrought I've been this past week: not only have I not brushed my hair properly or even looked in a mirror in days, I haven't eaten yogurt w/ Granny Smith apple & granola since last Monday, I've gone to bed without brushing my teeth-- TWICE, and I've missed two days of whitening regimen.

I miss my old self. If you can reach her, can you tell her to hurry back?