family: it's pretty much everything

During downtime today at work, I read this article in the Times, about "single mothers by choice"-- the phenomenon of single 30-something professional women flocking to sperm banks to complete the dream of career, Mr. Right & the perfect family, just in jumbled order: "If I had to choose today between becoming a mom or finding the perfect man and I could only have one today, I would choose becoming a mom. And hope that I have my lifetime to find the other," one says. The phenomenon is very telling of the consequences of womens' expanding roles in society. We love to work, and we love our independence. But we still feel the calling to be childbearers, nurturers. So we do what we can to balance it all. But is catalog-ordering half of our childrens' DNA really the picket-fence lives we've always envisioned for ourselves? If we're not going to be happy unless we have families, shouldn't we reshuffle our priority lists a bit? ...I was slightly saddened and unsettled for the rest of my time in lab.

Time passed, and I set up an overnight reaction at around 4pm, leaving me with nothing else to do. So I went home extremely early and happened to catch the tail end of Oprah [I could go on forever about Oprah (I'm not the biggest fan), but I won't digress]. Today's show was about "America's Poor", and included guest correspondence spots by Anderson Cooper and Maria Shriver. They interviewed people living in poverty in various areas across the United States. Most were single mothers who rely on food stamps, shelters, and hand-outs for their and their childrens' survival. Maria Shriver asked each what the hardest part her life was. Strong and steady as steel when answering all other questions, each woman broke down as she answered: "I wish I could give my kids what they want. I brought them into this world, and it's my responsibility to clothe them, feed them, give them an education. I wish I could do it better." But when asked if they felt "poor", they said no-- each of the women answered that she would never feel destitute as long as she had her family's love.

It was the most striking juxtaposition, really: the rich who desperately shell out thousands for some semblance of family, and the families who have nothing but. Both so tragic in disparate ways...

I guess the lesson to be learned is: in the end, it's all about family. I just hope I'm lucky enough to fall somewhere in between the extremes I saw today.