Hoodrat hoodrat hoochiemama

I think every toothbrush I used growing up was from Costco (or Price Costco, or Pricemart or whatever it was called in its previous lives). Like your family, mine was big on Costco. Yup. In high school and early undergrad, it was a medium-bristled Colgate with an angled head, with that nifty blue stripe running down the center of the brush that faded with use to inform you when the time came to switch anew. The most exciting part of this brush was choosing my color from the multi-pack. I almost always chose red, but when I was feeling slightly dangerous, I would go with magenta, or even turquoise. I would always choose carefully, of course. Three months is quite the commitment, especially in high school and early undergrad...

Having the multi-pack always available in the cabinet by the bathroom kept me oblivious to the rapid technological advances in dental care. Imagine my surprise when, walking down the tooth care aisle of my local drugstore not too long ago, I discovered that my nifty Colgate toothbrush was beyond old-school: it's freakin' obsolete. We're talking so ancient that they sell that style of brush for like, $0.99 as opposed to $3.50. Toothbrushes these days practically don't even have bristles anymore. And forget about a single blue stripe! My current brush (my post-Sonicare one, that is) has multiple rows of bristles and rubber fangs (fangs!) of varying heights to ensure that no nook or cranny in my mouth goes unbrushed. It's just heaven on a stick, I tell you. Heaven. On. A. Stick. I'm going to be the promiscuous little hoodrat hoochiemama of the toothbrush aisle for awhile... at least til I've been 'round the block once. Oh baby, oh baby. Watch me go.